L a situation warranted a different approach. Had been a number of facts that are entangled over time. And the confusion is ownership of what should not. As always, or almost always. That is, I can not understand or what I dare not, dismiss it, I leave it there for later, or never.
And the proposal appeared. Do not talk to us, talk about "lost oxen." Accepted. But the interior noise was felt. And he began to find out. Knew I had but could not decipher, something had to dig. And it happened!
fears were not strong, I knew of them because he had lived "almost always" and had heard of daily in the morning, noon, afternoon and evening. Were from the earliest childhood a constant. Had trembled before them too much and they had grown up. But it did not happen in vain, but rather strengthened, improved it, made him different ...
their first child was in these unwanted guests appeared in the form of abuse. Rape. Nothing more frightening for a boy of five years in the middle of nowhere, at the hands of an unknown face adult, to suffer the most severe insult to the human condition, the most outrageous, where life is split in a thousand pieces because it "plays" the most sacred and sublime that can hold, innocence.
And that way you can be, to grow, with this heavy burden, feeling so strange and dissimilar. Unable to speak with anyone, he knew not that this had to do, feeling guilty and ashamed, for an unprecedented event in its short existence, had never imagined. Not for lack of imagination but by its nature is inconceivable. And unthinkable.
Thus grew. Every night, every game, loneliness and the "moment" with him. He carried with him, like a treasure, a foul and strange treasure. I was there, kept, so nobody could access it. And I felt like a heavy load, which is mirrored in horrible nightmares, wetting their pants for years in short-and long-and be considered rare because only he knew was happening and that was as it was. He knew and they knew different.
was a time to look inward, as if searching for something, always looking. It absorbed more and up and walked away from everything else, what was next, games, petting, hugs, fantasy, groups, was "like that" although this was not enough and I noticed. What is not spoken, he showed himself. Behaviors, the discomfort should be, the self-marginalization, the terrible burden left him at a disadvantage compared to their peers. They played and thought, nothing special, just thinking. Thus he lived and grew. Paid a steep price for being. As he could, with what I had, raised and what they never had a choice, he tried but no ... Came and went, not knowing much to where.
And learned fear. Hint of fear, tried to think of everything, settled their charges, were given a natural balance. He walked all the way, went from here to there, alone, in company, which invented and joy against sadness that haunted him. Appropriated the disadvantages, matched and exceeded. One and another door opened by crushing and understated attitude, no fear paralyzed him, made him noble and persistent. Achievements had improved with the aid-to-find and sought, but other times have to perform other activities that have always had as normal.
Even today, despite the decades that have been happening can not, but what you want, enjoy these times, to talk about cattle lost, you still need-much less than yesterday, since if you talk without fear of others, with others and not his ...
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